Your scrumptious brain

I've been thinking about writing a lot lately, and only recently come to a defining revelation. The Facebook blog has starved out in the absence of contributions. Meanwhile however, I have fed the hobby well enough on snippets of fiction and a short journal here and there. Writing without an audience allows me to be pretty lax with form though, and so things like my savory love of turning food related adjectives into words describing things other than food, that, while tasty for me, may not be the best practice, slip their delicious way into anything and everything I write. An audience is helpful here. This is not my critical realization however, so much as a lead into a far more significant truth - that my writing heretofore has been largely deficient in zombies.

Having said that...

You're sitting in your house on an average weekday. You turn on the news, and apparently zombies are feasting on everyone. What is your plan of action? I know most discerning readers have already prepared for such complications with careful forthought, but I will nonetheless offer a brief primer on the background of zombies and zombie related issues for the few newbs who may be out there.

The zombie apocalypse will transpire when some infectious disease/curse/alien parasite comes to earth, spreads from one human to the next, and in weeks converts most of the planet's populus into brain-craving husks, hungry only for the pulsating blood of the living. Eventually, the canny, lucky, and quick will eek out a meager survival until all the zombies starve, and then the survivors will rebuild society. Also, you, the zombie newb, will be the first to go considering your lack of foresight concerning said apocalypse.

For reference, consider viewing one of these helpful videos:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z-TZnNXXQrI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bVnfyradCPY

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-gTkUcXGF_Q

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5M5V-1lbtfc

Now that you have achieved a sufficiently zombie oriented mind-set, think with me for a moment, and in your mind utter a nice long, mbraaaaainnnnns.

Great, so how do you go about surviving the infestation?

…

A few common approaches involve fleeing from urban centers, barricading one's home, and finding somewhere crafty to hide. Personally I am not a huge fan of the flee Seattle approach – presumably everyone else also does so. All it would take is one undead induced car accident to make the freeway into a brain buffet. Barricading also seems to be a poor choice, as the zombies will always find a way inside. What remains is some combination of crafty hiding and a home fortress, or hiding on top of my roof. From exhaustive research, I came to the conclusion that zombies as portrayed by the American media, are substandard climbers, and so one could be relatively assured of safety camped out atop a roof. Honorable mention also goes to: hide in the space needle, steal a boat – and then be on it, motherfucker, and prepare a hermetic underground bunker stocked with snacks in preparation for zombies, hurricanes, nuclear war, and such.

I still do not find this issue to be cleanly resolved – what if there are enough zombies to make a corpse staircase up to the roof? You fine creative individuals perhaps can do better.

I also need your brain for feedback on writing, give it to me. Mrbbbghhhhhhg.